When Sports Announcers Speak In Code

What would a televised sporting event be without announcers? One network tried to get cute and experimented with the idea during a football game and it flopped. As viewers, some of us are tuned in to the announcers while others can tune them out completely. I belong to the former group, and while most announcers are fine, there are a few that have me scampering for the mute button for various reasons. Most are clear and concise and experienced viewers aren’t moved by the overuse of cliches, but when sports announcers speak in code, they can confuse viewers old and new. So I’m going to have a little fun with some commonly-used sports phrases. Just imagine your reaction if you were watching a sporting event for the very first time and heard an announcer say one of these during a game.

1) “HE LETS THE GAME COME TO HIM.”

Upon hearing this phrase, surely even the novice sports viewer doesn’t think of a guy waking up, getting a shower and breakfast, suiting up, then waiting for his teammates, the opposing team, coaches, arena staff to put the hardwood down in his living room, and 20,000 fans to come to his house for the game. Parking might be an issue, anyway.

This one can be confusing to the experienced sports viewer. It’s mainly used to describe a basketball player who doesn’t force the action and waits patiently for opportunities to contribute on offense. Of course, if he’s on a team full of ball hogs, the game may never get to him.

2) “THEY NEED TO GET HIM THE BALL IN SPACE.”

I’d been watching sports for decades before I heard this one for the first time. Took me a minute to realize what the commentator meant, but imagine how confused the new sports viewer might be. We hear this phrase used in football, where the analyst suggests a team can make better use of its quicker players by getting them the ball where there’s room to run freely.

“Pass Incomplete. Intended for George Jetson.”

3) “HE CAN PUT THE BALL ON THE FLOOR.”

The ability to put the ball on the floor doesn’t sound like a marketable skill. Anyone old enough or strong enough to pick up a ball, including a toddler, can put a ball on the floor and walk away, pick it up, and put back on the floor again. What’s the big deal?

In basketball, the taller guys are generally not asked to dribble much, starting from their early years playing the sport. So on those occasions where a guy taller than say, 6’8″ displays the dribbling skills of someone much smaller, we’ll hear this phrase.

4) “NONE THE WORSE FOR WEAR.”

A football player gets hit hard and is laid out on the playing surface. A hockey player gets run into the boards and doesn’t get up right away. A baseball player gets hit by a line-drive. A basketball player runs in to a hard screen from a larger player and is stretched out on the court. In each case the player rises to his feet, dazed but OK. So what does the announcer say?

“He’s none the worse for wear.”

Wordy and grammatically jacked-up (both of which I can relate to), a simple “He’s OK” would be sufficient.

5) “THEY CAN’T GET OUT OF THEIR OWN WAY.”

I can’t stand this one. It immediately reminds me of The Three Stooges running into and tripping over each other trying to get through an entrance while being chased. The term is used to describe a good team in a slump or a lousy team living up to expectations.

6) “THE GAME WAS CLOSER THAN THE FINAL SCORE INDICATED.”

No, it wasn’t. A 20-point difference is a 20-point difference. A basketball game is tied at the end of three quarters and halfway into the fourth. One team goes on a 23-3 run to finish the game. True enough, the game was competitive 85 – 90 percent of the time, but the late run by the winning team is also part of what happened during the game. It was a blowout.

7) “HE PLAYS WITHIN HIMSELF.”

Let’s just move on to the next one, shall we?

8) “THEY HAVE TO TAKE BETTER CARE OF THE BALL.”

Give the ball a place to live? Food? Clothing? A warm blanket on a cold night? Quality time?

This has everything to do with turnovers, particularly in sports like basketball and football. But particularly in basketball, turnovers are a part of the game that are seldom given honest treatment. Let’s say Team A is playing against Team B, and Team A finishes the game with 20 turnovers, with 15 of them (remember, this is a hypothetical) due to their guards dribbling the ball off their sneaker and out-of-bounds with no defender from Team B within 10 feet of them. Unforced errors, for sure. Nonetheless, Team B’s announcer’s post-game analysis will give the team credit for “forcing” 20 turnovers.

9) “YOU HAVE TO BEAT THEM, THEY WON’T BEAT THEMSELVES.”

Seems like it would be difficult to beat yourself if you are playing against an opponent. And how would you know you’re beating yourself unless you were keeping score for yourself against yourself as well as the other team?

Confused? Well, that’s really the point. But seriously, it is more difficult to beat a team that doesn’t make mistakes than one that doesn’t “take care of the ball.”

10) “THAT’S WHAT GIVES COACHES GRAY HAIR.”

You mean it’s not the constant scrutiny and second-guessing, even after wins? It’s not having to deal with injuries and managing the personalities of players who make more money than the coach? It’s not the post-game press conferences after losses? It’s not the forced interviews between quarters of a nationally-televised game while the team waits on the sidelines for instructions?

Players not “taking care of the ball” might be the least of the coach’s problems.

11) “HE HAS ICE WATER FLOWING THROUGH HIS VEINS.”

In other words, the local blood bank has no use for him. No one’s that cool. Not my favorite.

12) “HE IS UNCONSCIOUS RIGHT NOW!”

Not sure what is more unlikely: an unconscious player leading his team to victory, or a team allowing an unconscious player to beat them. This one can be especially confusing for the young viewer just beginning to watch sports on television, but you’ll hear this one during a basketball game if one player makes a bunch of long-distance shots in a row.

13) “HE IS ON FIRE!”

Well don’t just sit there and say he’s on fire. Get an extinguisher and help put the fire out or call someone who can.

This is just one many examples of sports commentators using fire-related phrases to describe game action. “They’ve come out like a house afire!” “The defender got burned on that play.” “They started out hot, then crashed and burned at the end of the season.” “He went out in a blaze of glory.”

14) “HE MAKES HIS LIVING IN THE PAINT.”

Vincent Van Gogh. Jacob Lawrence. Jean-Michel Basquiat. All these guys made their living in the paint. The way basketball is played currently played, there are very few opportunities for anyone to make their living in the painted area of the court. Just for the record, on the courts now being used in the Orlando bubble, the painted area isn’t even painted.

Ironic, isn’t it?

15) “THEY’VE DRAWN FIRST BLOOD.”

Such Violence. The first team to score is said to have “drawn first blood.” Does this mean the second team to score has “drawn second blood?” A high-scoring game sounds like a bloody mess.

16) “INSTEAD OF PLAYING TO WIN, THEY’RE PLAYING NOT TO LOSE.”

Let’s immediately rule out the idea that the team in the lead, which is who this phrase is referring to, is not playing for a tie. Once we understand that “winning” and “not losing” are the same thing in sports where playing for a tie is not an option, we’re forced to understand that the team with the lead is being criticized for playing too it conservative while trying to run out the clock. Other announcers might say they’re “playing it too close to the vest”, yet another beauty.

17) “HE MAKES OTHER PLAYERS BETTER.”

This one is impossible to do. No player can be better than they are. The true meaning of this overused phrase is that a player fortunate enough to have a teammate who passes the ball to him in a position to score, and that player takes advantage of it. But the player still has to be good enough to take advantage of it. His scoring average may go up from previous years, but he isn’t better than he was or is. Just closer to getting more or the most out of his abilities.

18) “BANG!”

Clearly a signature call that helps an announcer’s brand, I prefer the more basketball-friendly calls for made baskets like “Yes!”, “Swish!”, and “Rip City!” We hear the term used by the players, but a league that saw a franchise change its team name from “Bullets” to “Wizards” still has announcers using phrases like “locked and loaded,” or “long-range sniper,” or “they’ve come out guns blazing,” or “this is an old-fashioned shootout,” and other firearms-related terms with regularity.

19) “THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL.”

This phrase is often used when the announcers have given up on one of the teams before the team gives up on itself, or when a coach is in danger of losing his job with one more loss and his team is on the brink of another loss.

Ironically, in this age of state-of-the-art technology in sporting venues, the only individual who might come closest to writing on a wall is the coach himself, during the pre-game strategy session.

20) “THE COACH HAS LOST THE LOCKER ROOM.”

We lose our keys, our wallets, our contact lenses, our patience, our tempers. But a locker room? One prominent coach once said, “As a coach, one-third of the players will be for you, one-third will be against you, and one-third will be neutral. The key to success is to keep the one-third who are against you away from the one-third who are neutral.”

This how you avoid “losing the locker room” or the respect of the majority of the roster.