The Beginner’s Guide To Sports Jargon

Every industry has its own unique language, and sports is no different. Gone are the days where play-by-play announcers would merely describe the action with a little opinion sprinkled in to fill in the dead air, especially on radio. Game presentations have become more technical over the years and this hasn’t been limited to the equipment used to bring us the game action. Announcers and commentators have become more detailed when explaining the nuances of the event they’re covering, and anyone from sports novice to sports junkie can easily get lost.

Here are some examples of sport-specific terms we often hear, and their (sometimes unintentionally) hidden meanings:

BASKETBALL

“HE CAN SCORE THE BASKETBALL.”

Another example of our evolving sports language. We used to say (simply) a guy can score, or he can score points, or he’s a natural scorer. Now he can score the basketball, though I’m not sure what else he’d be scoring during a basketball game.

Not looking forward to the day when the announcers from other sports start using similar terminology, though I’m not sure it would work anyway.

“That Tiger Woods, he can score the golf ball!”

“That Aaron Judge, he can score the baseball!”

“That Leo Messi, he can score the soccer ball!”

“Kevin Harvick can sure score that Mobil 1 Ford!”

Naaaaahhh.

“QUADRANT 1 WINS.”

Without getting into specifics, these are wins in college basketball’s NCAA Division 1 that come against the higher-teams based on whatever computer system determines these things. The more of these a team has on its season resume, the stronger the case it can present to receive an invitation to the national tournament in March.

In sum, a win against a perennial basketball powerhouse like Duke would qualify as a Quadrant 1 win; a victory over DeVry University does not.

“CUPCAKE CITY.”

There is actually a cupcake shop in Massachusetts named Cupcake City, but this is not the context. This is when a college basketball powerhouse loads up its pre-conference schedule with teams of lesser ability, to pile up the wins. These schools are from lower divisions or Division 1 schools from smaller conferences, and the games are almost exclusively at home. Upsets happens every now and then, but none of these almost-guaranteed victories would qualify as Quadrant 1 wins.

“HE’S STRUGGLING WITH HIS SHOT.”

Another example of announcers and commentators using diplomacy, this phrase is not really used when a guy who is normally a good shooter is in a slump. This one is for those guys who simply cannot shoot.

“HE’S A STRETCH FOUR.”

A power forward who can shoot three-pointers efficiently, causing yet another big guy on defense to have to play defense away from the basket.

Somehow I can’t imagine a guy like Karl Malone launching a bunch of three-pointers. (“Sorry, Karl. You’ll be coming off the bench and backing up Ryan Anderson. We need guys who can stretch the floor.”)

“TIP DUNK.”

What exactly is a tip dunk, anyway?

When an offensive gets a rebound and tips the ball into the basket while he’s in the air, it’s called a tip-in because he uses the tips of his fingers to guide the ball either off the backboard or directly into the basket.

Nowadays, guys are more likely to grab the rebound in the palm of their hand and slam it down in one motion while in the air. This is still called a tip dunk, even though there’s really no tip involved.

BASEBALL

“THEY NEED ANOTHER ARM.”

Usually heard around the trade deadline, the language used now somehow is less about positions on the field and more about body parts. Sure sounds like the team needs that part without the body attached to it in this case, but it simply means a team could use more quality pitching.

“THEY NEED A LEFTY BAT.”

Likewise, this one usually heard around the trade deadline or during the Winter Meetings when teams are looking to upgrade at certain positions. We used to refer to this as a left-handed hitter, but a newcomer could easily misinterpret this as a team needing to secure the services of a flying, nocturnal, cave-dwelling creature that happens to be left-handed.

“HE’S MISSING BATS.”

Pitcher delivers, batter swings and misses. Yes, the batter missed the ball, but recently some commentators have taken to looking at this action from the pitcher’s perspective. if the pitcher makes this a habit, he’s missing bats.

I despise this one.

“HE CAN GIVE YOU SOME INNINGS.”

So much for the assumption that any pitcher at the major-league level can give his team some innings.  In yet another act of diplomacy, this phrase describes a pitcher who isn’t very effective — either the sixth guy in a five-man rotation or a relief pitcher not trusted in close games — but saves the better pitchers on the team some wear and tear by coming into a game where one of the teams is leading by a wide margin.

So, if someone calls you an “innings guy” an any context, that’s probably not a good thing.

“EXIT VELOCITY.”

Not enough that the stadium is full of radar guns measuring the speed of the pitcher’s offerings, now the velocity of a batted balls are measured as well. Brought to you by the analytics crowd, a higher average exit velocity is supposed to be a good thing, though I remember the Atlanta Braves announcers attempting to explain the team’s offensive struggles back in the 1980’s by suggesting, “They’re hitting the ball hard but it’s always right at somebody.”

FOOTBALL

“EXTENDING THE PLAY.”

This one is real popular. During the Steelers – Bucs Monday Night Football Game, we must have heard this phrase at least five times. When a quarterback drops back to pass, is facing a heavy pass rush and is forced to scramble, it used to be called exactly that. Now it’s referred to as “extending the play” when in fact the quarterback is simply trying to keep from having his head ripped off by a defensive lineman.

“A HAT ON A HAT.”

In today’s concussion-conscious football environment, this might not qualify as a politically-correct term. It simply means that each blocker must complete his assignment in order for an offensive play to work.. Not sure where “hat” came from, but  we certainly can’t say “helmet on a helmet” in this age of player safety.

“HE PUT THE BALL ON THE GROUND.”

A fumble. Nothing more. One could easily get the impression that the ball carrier did it on purpose.

“GET HIM THE BALL IN SPACE.”

No, NASA is not involved, but this phrase suggests that instead of running a small, speedy offensive player through a pack of 280-pound bodies crowded near the line of scrimmage, his talents would be better utilized by getting him the ball is a less populous area of the playing field. In space.

“HE HAS POCKET AWARENESS.”

No, this has nothing to do with watching out for pickpockets on the subway. This has everything to do with a quarterback’s ability to sense when his arc of blocking protection formed by his offensive line (the “pocket”) is about to spring a leak — in other words,  a hat misses a hat — yet he’s still able to make a positive play with a salivating defender breathing down his neck.

“TOUCHDOWN, NO FLAGS!”

The first play-by-play announcer I heard use this phrase regularly was Pat Summerall, who’d use it back in the 1970s and 80s when the Dallas Cowboys were winning all the time, on those rare occasions when a weaker team (like the New York Giants, who were horrible back then) would come into Texas Stadium and score a touchdown. On the assumption that a lousy team had to resort to cheating to score against Dallas, or the team was so horrible they’d always mess up a good play anyway, the first instinct was to look for a penalty flag negating the play.

If the Dallas Cowboys scored: “Touchdown, Dallas!”

If the New York Giants scored: “Touchdown, Giants. No flags!”

SOCCER

“THEY NEED A RESULT.”

This one might be decades old, but I just began to notice its regular use during the 2018 World Cup. Each team plays three games which determines if they’ll advance to the next round of games, the first single-elimination round. If a team — particularly one of the favorites — loses its first game, the commentators will spend that team’s entire next game suggesting that the team needs a result in their second game (“England needs a result.”), which means a win (three points) or a tie (one point).

In other words, if you lose, you didn’t get a result.

And all this time I thought every game — win, lose or draw — ended with a result for both teams.

MORE TO COME?

As the winter months approach and the sports consumption on television increases, we’ll hear other often-used catchphrases and will be introduced to new ones. So, for better or worse, this may be the first of a series on the topic.

I will now clock my exit velocity as it is past time for bed…