Basketball In The Year 2040

So far we’ve taken the basketball commentary back to the 1970’s and kept one eye on current events, so it’s only fair that we take a peek into the future for professional and college hoops, featuring an arbitrarily selected year of 2040 – 23 years ahead. Considering how much the game has changed since 1994, there’s little doubt that the game we know today will be drastically different 23 years from now.

Then again, we also know that some things never change.

January 2040

The NCAA announces that beginning in 2041, Oregon State University officially joins the Atlantic Coast Conference, Vanderbilt University joins the Pac-24 Conference and the University of Alaska-Anchorage joins the Big East Conference.

After a brief scuffle, former Knicks’ great Kristaps Porzingis is removed from Madison Square Garden by arena security for sitting in the front row for a game against Boston and blocking the view of spectators who complained of not being able to see over his 7’3” frame.

February 2040

The Fast Food Classic, a showcase for the nation’s top high school seniors, is now incorporated into All-Star Weekend, replacing the Rookie/Sophomore Challenge, while the Coaches’ Game replaces the Slam Dunk Contest.

The NCAA announces that beginning in 2041, the Division 1 Men’s College Basketball Final Eight, featuring of each of the eight regional champions with four games on Friday, two games on Saturday and the championship game on Monday evening, will be held at the new 150,000 seat Desert Dome in Las Vegas for the next 10 years. Upon entering the arena, ticketholders who pay the $2,500 for upper level seating will receive 3-D glasses to watch the game on the Jumbotron screen, one dose of Antivert, a barf bag and a t-shirt that says, “2041 NCAA Final Four – I Was There!”

March 2040

Knicks legend Patrick Ewing, now in his 23rd year as the Head Men’s Basketball coach at Georgetown University, is escorted out of Madison Square Garden by arena security after picking up his second technical foul during a Big East Tournament quarterfinal game against the University of Hawaii and refusing to leave the court.

The 2040 NCAA Division 1 Tournament Field of 128 is announced. The televised Selection Show runs for four hours as the eight 16-team regions are unveiled. The Ivy League champion University of Pennsylvania allows a camera in their gymnasium for a televised team reaction shot, but had to report to study hall before the show was over, so the viewing public sees an empty gym instead. Meanwhile, the University of the Incarnate Word expresses its displeasure at being snubbed by the Selection Committee and refuses an National Invitational Tournament bid.

NCAA Tournament Committee considers the reinstatement of the POD system after two neighboring schools from the Southeast – Univ. of Miami and Florida International – are scheduled to play a first-round game in Boise, Idaho.

April 2040

The Bronx Nets announce they’ll be moving to a new arena in Staten Island, New York. The Nets, now on their third borough and their second state in metropolitan New York City, are still struggling to establish an identity in the area.

May 2040

In a new twist, all ping-pong balls, journalists, representatives from Price Waterhouse and back rooms are eliminated the from the draft lottery process as the proceedings are now shown live on national television using a series of “Rock-Paper-Scissors” matchups between team representatives to determine the draft order for the June 2040 NBA Draft.

June 2040

The Los Angeles Lakers win the NBA Championship Series over the Boston Celtics, 5 games to 4.

July 2040

In an effort to speed up game pace and increase scoring, the NBA will use selected games during the exhibition season to experiment with a 17-second shot clock.

The NBA announces the hiring of Rasheed Wallace as Director of Officials.

After intense negotiations from the newly formed union called LEGS (Let Everyone Get Shots) for NBA players 6′ 10″ and over who are fed up with lack of offensive involvement and chasing shooters out to the three-point arc, the league begrudgingly agrees to move the 3-point line (now called the Curry Line) back to 30 feet, eliminating the baseline three and bringing the low-post center back to relevance.

After several complaints from owners, teams must now reduce the number of game day assistant coaches from 12 to 3. The owners want to make those courtside seats – now valued at an average of $75,000 per game league-wide – available for sale. The owners were also angling to reduce game day rosters to 10 players, with an eye on the potential revenues from the two extra seats, and to have the public address announcer also keep score, operate the game clock AND do the television and radio play-by-play, creating extra seats for sale as well, but were rebuffed.

A new preseason college basketball tournament, the Great Siberian Shootout, is cancelled due to lack of sponsorship.  One prominent coach bemoaned the cancellation, saying he was planning to introduce his team to adversity by having them practice outdoors.

A wealthy businessman purchases the New York Knicks for $11 billion. Three weeks later – upon learning the franchise’s value had increased to $15.5 billion as a result of the sale – he promptly sells the Knicks back to its previous owner for $15.5 billion, pending league approval.

The NBA releases its 2040-41 schedule, which includes back-to-back games for the Sacramento Kings in Madrid, Spain and Miami, Florida.

A restricted free agent turns down 4-year, $160 million contract from the Detroit Pistons and ends up signing with the Canterbury Rams (New Zealand) for 1-year, $3 million.

A prominent NBA player retires prematurely, citing lack of respect from his NBA 2K41 ratings.

September 2040

Training camps open. A media survey reveals 34 of the 36 head coaches emphasized defense and promised to run more.

After several exhibition games, the 17-second clock experiment is scrapped, citing player, referee, coach, official scorer, public address announcer and fan fatigue.

October 2040

An NBA study blames the lagging attendance figures from the 2039-40 season (and the first weeks of the 2040-41 campaign) on the PASSL (Personal Arena, Section and Seat License) adopted by more than half the teams. Season-ticket holders must now pay a separate fee to enter the arena, the section their seat is located in and for the seat itself. Parking and concessions are not included.

November 2041

NAIA Division 2 member Cornerstone College defeats Michigan State 80-77  in an exhibition game at East Lansing. The Michigan State coach blames the officiating.

The University of Southern California defeats North Alabama 112-54. The North Alabama coach blames the officiating.

December 2040

An NBA star is fined $100K for wearing a game uniform without all the corporate sponsor logos.

The Knicks hold a halftime ceremony honoring their 2014-15 squad that finished with a record of 17 and 65. Immediately after the ceremony, each member of that team is removed from Madison Square Garden by arena security.

Some things never change.

Doug Anderson

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